It's about that time! Last fall's cuffing season may have left you with a new significant other. Winter weather, lockdowns, and their mediocre personality got you sick of them yet? Here's a few tips on How To Ruin Valentine's Day.
1. Don't buy our shades for Buy One Get One Free. Available now through Valentine's Day, link below!
2. Vent to your valentine about our troops overseas, the military industrial complex, and the efficiency of the VA.
3. Explain the history of Valentine's Day to your significant other.
4. Give your main squeeze's gift to your side piece, and your side piece's gift to your main squeeze.
5. Eat at a diner by yourself because you're a loser and you couldn't even cuff a mannequin.
6. Invite your gal pals over for a Galentine's party, tell Stacy to quit feeling sorry for herself, get drunk, trash the place, fight Stacy, call your ex, vomit, have a group crying session, plan your future, pass out, and wake up without any recollection of your "Gal's Night Out."
7. Forget about Valentine's Day.
1 comment
Thanks for supporting our troops and our vets.